Nomad News-Vol.3-No.69

TIME TO REMINISCE – BELGIUM, OCTOBER 1944: About this time we received a very official-looking Memorandum from Squadron Headquarters addressed to all personnel titled: Post-War Etiquette and Courtesy: Conduct of Soldier on Return to Native Land. The following are excerpts from Circular 1235, par. #7-99, Ninth Air Force, dated 31 September 1944,and are to be read to all personnel, by order of Commanding General, this Army, and rescinds any and all previous publications concerning this serious matter. 1. It has been brought to the attention of this office that many of the soldiers returned from the battle zone are having serious difficulties conducting themselves as gentlemen. You can still be a gentleman even if you were in Normandy. The following has been compiled by leading authorities on etiquette and, it is hoped, will prove of invaluable aid to you when (and if) you return home a. Upon arriving in America you will be amazed at the great number of beautiful girls that you will see. Remember, boys, New York is not like Paris. Many of these girls have other occupations—stenographers, sales girls, beauty operators; therefore, do not approach them with “combien?” A proper approach is, “Isn’t it a beautiful day?” or, “Were you ever in Scranton?” Then you can say “How much?” Remember also that a chocolate bar or a Chelsea cigarette will be appreciated for the sentiment behind it, but that’s as far as it will go. The trend in the States is for mink coats and diamond necklaces, the closest equivalent in results to the chocolate bar over here. For a chocolate bar there, expect nothing more than a purely platonic friendship. Further, you will find that a goodly number of the girls speak English well, so all sign language and French, especially THAT phrase, will be rather useless. b. If you are visiting a friend’s home overnight and are awakened by a gentle rap on the door, informing you that the household is arising, the proper answer is, ”I’ll be there in a moment”. Do not say “Blow it out your Royal---“. c. Your first meal in the morning will be breakfast, a strange assortment of food such as cantaloupe, fresh eggs, milk, etc. Do not be afraid of them; they are highly palatable. If you wish some butter, turn to the nearest person and say, “Please pass the butter”. Do NOT yell, “Throw the goddamn grease.” d. If you have the biological urge coming over you while you are in a group and immediate relief is desired, do NOT grab an entrenching tool in one hand and “Stars and Stripes” in the other and rush for the garden. You will find that 90 percent of the houses in the States have a room right in the house called a bathroom. In most cases it contains a bathtub, washbasin, medicine cabinet, and toilet. It is the toilet you are primarily concerned with in this case. e. If you are invited to a friend’s house and find that all of the chairs in the living room are taken, do NOT squat down in the corner and say you’re perfectly comfortable there. Have patience. Your host or hostess will soon provide a proper resting place for you. f. Belching or passing wind in company is strictly frowned upon. If you should forget yourself, however, just day “Excuse me.” Do NOT say: “It must be that lousy chow we’re getting.” g. You will be amazed at dinner to find that each item is, in most cases, served in a separate dish. Although you learned in the Army to eat such delicious combinations as pattied cornbeef and pudding, and lima beans, pork and gravy and peaches, just bear with the strange civilian custom and in no time you will adjust to the separate dish system and enjoy your meal even so. P.S.: I just dug that specious memo from my archives. It was probably published in "Stars & Stripes" in 1944. Andy Dolan